You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
