My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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