I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
