She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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