Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
