Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
