This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
