Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
where are you?
Hypothermia
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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