your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
