my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
