I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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