I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
