I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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