nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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