I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
