Do you still have your period?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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