you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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