Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
