she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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