Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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