I wannas sexs uuuuu
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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