We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
