Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
