A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
