Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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