That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
