You work out of a Hotel?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
