So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want nice things and good sex
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
