sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
