Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
