Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
