ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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