K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
