You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
