Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
