I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
