please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
