talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
