I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
