i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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