Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
MIDGETS
????
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
