You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
