i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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