Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
