So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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