Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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