No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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