Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
