there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
