i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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